COUNSELLING - THERE FOR YOU AT YOUR WORST
My counselling experience and expertise is diverse and enables me to adapt the therapy according to your unique needs as an individual, a couple or family.
There is no set length of time, typically the way I work is open-ended with no expectations of the number of sessions. Usually work with couples takes longer than works with families, but is dependent upon the level of distress at the beginning of counselling and the complexity of factors.
£70 per couple or family session (50 mins)
£60 per individual session (50 mins)
THE STRATEGY OF EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY
EFT as a model for couples work can differ in key ways from other relationship counselling approaches:
• Empathy underpins the whole approach, a respectful and compassionate stance facilitates the creation of emotional safety for you as a couple within the therapy room and outside it
• It is not based on a prescription of what you should do as a couple, instead it seeks to understand your process
• It is collaborative: you are the expert on your own experience. The therapist’s role is that of process consultant, helping partners connect their own internal experience with their couple interaction
• The focus is on the present not on the past: while history plays an important role in shaping your ways of relating, how the two of you are in the room is more the focus of the therapy
• The emphasis is not on the problems in your relationship but on its potential
For most successful outcomes couples will experience the complete process of Emotionally Focused Therapy which includes three distinct experiences:
Stage 1 Getting Unstuck
The first stage of couples counselling lays a foundation for a deeper, lasting connection in your relationship. The aim here is to help you de-escalate your conflict by:
• Understanding your own unique negative cycle of disconnection as a couple
• Recognising the positions of each of you in the cycle and what drives it to continue
• Being able to identify what is going on for you both deep down
• Learning more about what you need from each other
Stage 2 Experiencing Re-connection
Now that you are experiencing a new calm between you, it starts to feel safer and more possible to reach out and reconnect, or respond, without defensiveness or attacking the other.
In this stage you become more :
• Responsive and
• Engaged with each other
As you begin to have more of these A.R.E conversations together, you create new foundations of connected experience. You are able to recognise and own yours fears and needs, so redefining how you are as a couple
Stage 3 Creating Your Future Together
By now both of you can feel safe, more engaged and trusting each other. Old issues are dealt with, or you are confident that you will be able to resolve them together. In this stage you
• Continue to intentionally connect and open up
• Deal with any experiences of disconnection as they happen
• Tackle issues as a team
You can begin to look forward and explore how you can embed this new way of connected loving as a lifestyle
THE SUCCESS OF EFT
“Rigorous studies during the past fifteen years have shown that 70 to 75 percent of couples who go through EFT recover from distress and are happy in their relationships. The results appear lasting, even with couples at high risk for divorce.”
-Dr. Sue Johnson, Professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Ottawa;
Director of Ottawa Couple and Family Institute and International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (www.iceeft.com);
I have been a practising therapist in Ottershaw for the past 6 years, after a counselling career spanning over 20 years. I am committed to providing counselling in a safe, confidential and non-judgemental environment.
I work with both individuals and couples on an open-ended basis or for an agreed time period, with the aim of enabling you to enhance your life and to live it more fully.
I am experienced in helping clients who have experienced difficulties with :
Disconnection and distressing patterns of broken communication, verbal abuse, sexual problems, separation, relational boredom, recovery from affairs, jealousy, and uncertainty whether or not to stay together.
WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE
As a EFT couple therapist I typically seek to :
-facilitate the creation of new secure, lasting connection between intimate partners
- reinforce any pre-existing positive bonds
- increase a feeling of security in the relationship
- enable deeper emotional connection
- and a more intimate physical experience
The more you and your partner can re-discover each other as your safe haven of love, significance and belonging, the more satisfied you will both feel, and the more resilient your relationship will be. In addition, such a powerful heart connection has been shown to positively influence mental wellbeing and physical health, as well as your overall sense contentment
Couple therapy, nor family therapy, is not deemed safe or recommended if:
• There is on-going domestic abuse or violence which cannot be contained by one or both partners.
• One partner remains highly attached outside the relationship, to a third party, or to alcohol or drugs, and does not wish for this to change.
An initial one-off couples appointment can be helpful to collaboratively establish the most successful way forward for you both individually or as a couple, whatever your circumstances or level of distress. Please get in touch if you would like to book this,